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Random thoughts, musings, and things I find funny. BLOGS, JOURNALS, AND DIARIES.my xangaAACF blog Ben Anna Carise Victor Thomas Cman Amily My old blogpage DropDeadFred Stories Andrew O. Jocelyn Tiffany Branny Megan Andrew W. Vir COOL SITESOrisinalCMCentral CCM Magazine His2Own (h2o) DropDeadFred World 
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
so this weekend's been great. heh. feels really good to catch up on sleeeeeeeep ... and i've been eating A LOT too. heh. it's been great. i think i worry my grandma, though. heh. i tell her a lot of times that i don't get a chance to eat ... and each time i visit her, she sends me home with tons of food. haha. =] so dave (one of my accountability partners) asked if i wanted to help him try reaching out to a homeless guy that lives under the stairwell of his apt. he also suggested that the aacf sg leaders should make sandwiches and share them with the homeless on one of our free weeks. VERY good ideas. heh. the last message series at first pres talked about how worship is so much more than just singing praises to God every week ... but it's really about living lives of justice. it was very intriguing. lately i think i've been thinking more about the homeless ... being convicted of my own inability to love. also i've beeh challenged to love lately by a guy that used to go to aacf ... without going into too many details, let's just say that he lacks many social skills ... but he seems really lonely. hopefully God will grant me grace and patience as i continue to try to reach out to him. certain people have a certain eloquence in the way they write. reading their blogs/xangas inspires me to write too. haha. unfortunately, when i write i only turn out posts like this. =P random insight of the day: it's hard maintaining friendships when you're antisocial. no, it's not impossible ... but so much of friendship is based on sharing common experiences ... and when your group of friends always goes out and stuff, it's hard to relate. heh. at the same time, when you live a lifestyle of always going out, it's hard to find alone time. heh. =] so i'm trying to find deeper community and discipleship. hrm. there aren't too many older brothers at aacf ... so guess i'll have to look for a discipler at first pres since i go there more than cbc ... but it's just so hard. heh. john's in the same boat as i am. jo and connie are forcing him to meet two non-college guys at berkeley mosaic (he's looking for a discipler/mentor too.) he has it slightly easier though 'cuz berkeley mosaic isn't as big as first pres. =P it's so odd how every once in a while i'll start feeling burdened for certain people. well ... maybe burdened isn't the best word ... but for some reason i'll get people on my mind and wanna talk with them, pray for them, see how they're doing, etc. hrm. like i said in an earlier post, since talking with jed at interpraise (we only talked for a minute. basically i said hi. =P), he's been on my mind. heh. hrm. it's funny 'cuz my sister brought him up this week too. haha. apparently jed's sister goes to ucla and is my sister's sg leader. haha ... maybe since jed's sister is investing so much time / energy into my sister, i feel bad and wanna invest in jed. hahaha. shrug. regardless, i really hope to get to meet up with him. my problem is that i find it very hard to initiate ... i'm not really good at asking if people wanna go grab dinner or have time to hangout or stuff. maybe 'cuz i'm antisocial. maybe 'cuz i have a deep fear of being rejected or of making people do something they don't wanna do. not sure. heh. berkeley has a way of making you feel dumb. well, it makes me feel dumb at least. heh. a lot of times classes make me feel out of my league ... and well, dumb. but every once in a while, those few times when you score above the mean on a midterm (haha. =P), you get a really good feeling ... the feeling like you can hang with the other guys/gals. haha. completing this past cs project gave me that feeling. haha, true i was in a group ... but i felt i contributed and i basically understood what was going on ... so yay. =] jeff and john even were coming to me for help. haha. well, 'cuz they didn't know my third partner, dawson ... and tim basically only knew the memory context stuff ... heh. but tim was awesome at debugging ... soooo good. =] haven't had much free time at all lately. ruth asked me the question the other day, "would you rather be insanely bored or insanely busy." haha. i'm not really sure. i think it's a dumb question though ... 'cuz i'd never be insanely bored. i always seem to find ways to keep myself amused. heh. so i told her i'd choose boredom ... 'cuz boredom isn't really boredom for long. but she said that was cheating. haha. girls. it's funny. i entered this year - well, last year rather - thinking (or maybe hoping) that i'd meet some girl at aacf. my thinking was that i always seem to make friends with girls really easily ... plus, knowing that it's always harder for me talking with guys, i thought it was naturally that i'd get close with a lot of the girls. (no, not in a romantic way. i'm no playa. haha. =P) but over the past two years, it turns out to have been quite the opposite. heh. i'm close to very few of the girls at aacf, but i've met a TON of awesome brothers ... interesting. =] and look at me ... heh. part of the ministry i help coordinate is men's ministry (a ministry that i didn't wanna be part of initially. haha. well, i'm still unsure of what to do in this ministry ... but we'll kinda see as we go. =]) this week is brothers' appreciation at aacf ... and vicky & nancy stressed that BOTH guys and girls can show appreciation to the brothers. hrm. there have been so many that have been an encouragement to me. maybe i'll buy all of the guys a flower. shrug. i wanna watch aladdin. or hercules. hrm. i notice i post a lot more when i'm at home. interesting. i woke up sorta sore from three sets of tennis yesterday. man. i'm out of shape. i never get sore after tennis. but then again, i've never played three sets before. heh. oh wait, did i post about tennis already? =P i'm glad chi's my roommate. we get along pretty well. =] at first i was a little scared that i wouldn't be living with someone i knew. last year was cool 'cuz although i was living with chi (a virtual stranger at the time), i also had michael if things with chi went sour (which they didn't, praise God. =]) but yeah ... was a little nervous at the beginning of this year, but it's been cool. =] so, this was a long and random post. i still think VIRGINIA LOUIE should call me. haha. or maybe i should call her. too bad i have an aversion for phones. =/ oh yeah, i got to talk to jini and esther this past week. haha. wowwwww. i only got to talk to jini 'cuz i was up late working on cs ... and since she's in greece, she signed on like at 4am our time. =] oh yeah, and i hear from michael that mary lou is a genius. i had no idea. true to your heart -bj 
hrm. it's interesting to note among the people that i'm close to at aacf, there are usually two types of people ... the mellow, go-with-the-flow, disorganized / careless people ... and the more intense, administratively minded, worrying people. heh. and it's interesting 'cuz you need both types of people ... whether it be in cs projects or in ministry. heh. guess what category i fall in. =P okayyyyy ... yeah, i'm the more disorganized type. heh. it's funny, during our cs project we were sorta discussing how among my cs186 circle, there are these two types of people. heh. if it were just me and tim in our group ... or even tim, me, and john, we'd have trouble getting things done ... just 'cuz we take a more relaxed approach to programming. heh. it was good that we had dawson (slave-driver dawson. hahaha. jk jk) he wanted to meet every night and stay very late every night ... and got stressed that we wouldn't finish in time ... whereas me and tim kinda took breaks while we were programming ... tried not to worry too much. haha ... but in the case of jeff & john, jeff did all of the worrying and john was more the kick-back guy. heh. i'm not sure where dave would fall ... his partners did the whole project for him. hahaha. =D but the same is true when i look at the cal aacf servant team ... heh. there's the more laid-back, not so organized type ... and the more goal-oriented, administrative type. heh. dan and alex are uber organized ... heh. so it's probably a good thing that they're our lg coordinators ... 'cuz that's a big production to put on every week. connie's more of the organized type in my ministry, although we're both sorta disorganized ... jeff does the organizing / worrying in his partnership with tim and the worship ministry ... albert is super kick-back on core. heh. not sure about jo and laurie ... vicky and nancy seem to be pretty balanced though. =] they both don't seem to worry too much, but at the same time they seem organized ... but hrm ... it's just fun for me to take a step back and look at these relationships. haha. =] so i really wanna go deeper with the guys at aacf ... i feel it's kinda my responsibility to try fostering deeper fellowship ... hmmm ... i really wanna meet up with jed (or jedi. not sure what i'm gonna call him. haha. jedidiah is just too long though. =P) hmmm ... and also john tang. hrm. hopefully i'll be able to meet up with them sometime. =] go bears. =D bring me down -bj
Friday, October 29, 2004
it feels goooooooood to be home. i don't think it's been THAT long since i've been home, but it seems like it's been a really, really long time. and yeah, i'm sad that i'm missing out on all the fun going on this weekend (pumpkin carving tonight and skyzone for alex's bday tomorrow), but i'm glad to be home nonetheless. i seem to be able to relax more when i'm at home. =] i've had a lot of people on my mind lately ... gary and jedediah ... two freshmen guys who i haven't really gotten to know too well ... john cheng and john tang ... both of whom i'd really like to see be discipled ... hrm. oh, and i would like virginia louie to call me. :-P played over two hours of tennis today. it was sooooo good. =] man. i've missed playing tennis. heh. i can topspin now. heh. it's a lot of fun topspinning. =] still can't really serve ... the forehand is still pretty powerful ... backhand is getting consistent, but not so powerful ... gotta learn to control my emotions better when i play, though. heh. =P we sang a song in spanish at interpraise yesterday ... except they didn't translate it for us ... so that was ... erm ... interesting. i wanna meet up with so many of the guys at aacf ... but i don't really know how to go about it. heh. i'm shyyyyy. :-P blah. haha ... but yeah, hopefully i'll be able to start meeting up with some of them to see how they're doing and stuff ... =] listened for a little bit to the golden overtones singing on sproul today. heh. a lot of new faces ... i guess calista's not with the group anymore ... i still heart artists in resonance though ... oh, and FCS ROCKS! haha. i might consider trying out for fcs next year ... hahaha. dude, that'd be sooooo tite. =] i wanna try arranging a song for them ... that'd be one cool experience arranging an a capella song ... hrm. i should try it sometime ... =] my small group buddy, leo, sang a solo for third day's "You are so good to me" ... heh. duuuuuude. leo rocks. haha. you could kinda hear his fobby accent when he said the word "father" ... but stilllll ... man. swoon. hahaha. i miss leo. haha. =] muy bien -bj
so yesterday at interpraise, i'll admit i had a little trouble focusing on God ... first off, i was pretty close to the front so it was sorta loud ... and then the worship leader has a really ... erm ... distinct voice. kinda like an exaggerated david crowder. it was hard to get used to ... he kinda slurred everything. heh ... and then even more than that, the girl on the keyboard was distracting ... just because her voice was so good. haha. i remember stephen telling me my freshman year about how sometimes people that are too good can distract you from worshipping ... it's true. heh ... it was hard, but eventually everything faded and it was easier to focus on God. jeff wrote an interesting post on how the song "ask of me" is taken out of context. "ask and i'll give the nations to you. oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart ..." is a reference to psalm 2:7-8 which, in context, appears to refer to God and not to israel or to people in general ... it seems to be saying that God will give the Son the nations as an inheritance. i like how jeff reminded me that we're called to "worship in spirit and in truth" ... and how taking verses out of context isn't really worshipping in truth. heavenly storehouses laden with snow -bj
interpraise was gooooooooooodah. =] i got to talk to three of the freshmen today. heh ... well, mike doesn't count ... 'cuz i know him pretty will ... but it was good talking to jedediah and gary today ... heh. if only for a lil. gonna try harder to reach out to them. =] a r e w -bj
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
so it's 6:04, and i just got back from soda. blahhhh ... but our program is DONE! PRAISE GOD! haha ... tim is the context / debugging MASTER. =D i love working with him. heh. the more i get to know dan, the more i realize that he's a really nice guy. heh. we broke up into our ministry teams at the s-team meeting today ... dan's in mine ... along with zeeho, laurie, and connie. zeeho and connie got to the meeting really late ... so it was me, dan, and laurie ... and dan kept asking me all these questions about how i was feeling about ministry ... giving advice ... it was really cool. heh. and i used to be so intimidated by him too ... :-P but dan IS slightly intimidating ... =P a lot of people think so. heh. but i think he likes that reputation. haha. only one to blame -bj
Monday, October 25, 2004
so yesterday i thought i saw john cheng on telegraph ... except his arm was in a brace. i was gonna go up to him and ask what happened, but when i got closer, i realized it wasn't john cheng. moreover, it wasn't even a guy; it was a woman that looked like john cheng. weiiiiiird. =P met with boytoy today ... heh. he swiped me into the foothill dc. heh ... DUDE, being at foothill TOTALLY made me nostalgic. i started to reminisce over my freshman year. i thought about the very person i met in college (kenny wu), playing mafia with my suitemates the first week in the dorms, warcraft - me (orc) and stephen (undead) versus kenny (night elf) and michael (human) ... (DUDE, i miss warcraft. =P), watching american idol with the suitemates, throwing around the football in the octagon, late night sessions of the "we hate people with free time" club with tina, ping-pong and pool, card games on friday with oleg, kenny, michael, and sometimes jeff ... haha. i miss foothill. i miss my old stomping grounds. i miss my suitemates. =P won't recall -bj
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