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Random thoughts, musings, and things I find funny. BLOGS, JOURNALS, AND DIARIES.my xangaAACF blog Ben Anna Carise Victor Thomas Cman Amily My old blogpage DropDeadFred Stories Andrew O. Jocelyn Tiffany Branny Megan Andrew W. Vir COOL SITESOrisinalCMCentral CCM Magazine His2Own (h2o) DropDeadFred World 
SCHOOL SITESBerkeleyBearlink Psych 2 Math 54 Math 55 Political Science 118AC History 5 Legal Studies 103
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Saturday, December 13, 2003
so ... i guess i did not post that toby asked me to consider being on the planning / leadership team for cbc's "missions trip" this april ... well, it's not really a trip ... from what i can tell. it's more of a week-long vbs in west oakland during spring break. he said that tom sugimura was trying to get a leadership team together and asked toby to help him ... and toby thought of me 'cuz he said he thinks i'm a leader. =/ God's been teaching me a lot about spiritual leadership this semester, but i digress ... anyhoo ... he's supposed to talk to me in the next few days and ask me for my response. i think that God would definitely test and grow my faith if i do it ... my only concern is the amount of time that would be involved going to meetings, planning, praying ... not that i mind the commitment, it's just that i'll probably be CRAZY busy next semester (ee20, ee40, cs61c - the hardest eecs lower div courses, and history 121b) plus aacf stuff (small group, large group, accountability, possibly being discipled), plus h2o (maybe). praying about it some, i kinda think that this is something God wants me to do. first of all, maria e-mails me back after about two or three weeks responding to my e-mail about my role as a ct assistant ... i had a talk with maria earlier about whether or not i'd continue being a ct assistant, whether i'd consider breaking off and leading my own berkeley ct, whether or not i'd be able to come to h2o more consistently ... stuff like that. basically she said it was up to me, but she'd understand if i wanted to take a break. so yeah, i'll pbb be taking a smaler role in my ct for now ... i just view that as God making a way for me to serve in some aspect for this west-oakland missions thingy ... speaking of h2o ... i dunno. =/ christine said she wasn't really "feeling" aacf this year ... i guess that can be said of me and h2o ... yeah, don't really wanna lose touch with my cbc friends, but i dunno ... i just don't really "feel" h2o ... maybe i'll expound on it later ... or maybe not. eh. i think i just haven't really been challenged at h2o like i have at aacf ... and i guess i long for "deeper stuff" at h2o ... deeper challenges ... deeper fellowship. not that that should keep me from going to h2o, i guess ... but either way ... i mean, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things i like about h2o ... i like the sponsors ... steve and susan have given me lots of good advice ... and matt, my former discipler and current h2o sponsor, is always interested in how i'm doing. cts have been a big blessing, too ... but i don't know what's different now ... last year i enjoyed h2o ... served on council ... was really encouraged by the council's desire to see h2o grow and progress ... i dunno. i don't really get that now, i guess. maybe it's just 'cuz i'm not on council so i don't have an insider's view ... but people like toby, jay, dana, bun ... you could tell they loved h2o and wanted to see us grow as a club ... and it was refreshing. i guess i just have a (perhaps selfish) longing for deeper fellowship ... i mean, i know aacf is totally different from aacf because aacf is on campus ... but it's been really refreshing at aacf ... from my experience walking home with steve after aacf and just sharing about our testimonies, and our walks ... and just stopping on the middle of the sidewalk to pray for each other ... or brothers and sisters randomly sending e-mails telling me that they're praying for me ... or getting together to eat with brothers and sisters, having a really good time goofing off and stuff but then later asking how each other are really doing ... hearing my brothers and sisters share with me areas where they're struggling ... being able to just unload on people different things that God's been doing in my life .... discussing questions about Biblical theology and looking for answers together ... having people share with me stuff God's been showing / teaching them through school and through their quiet times ... it's just been really encouraging and really something that i've been hungering for for quite a while now. i guess i don't really experience this sense of "deeper fellowship" with people at h2o outside of my ct ... i mean, God's blessed me with lots of people who i feel i can share prayer requests with ... share stuff i learn ... share my struggles with faith and such ... i can share with my ct, especially cman and amelia. i can share with vir. i've even been sharing a lot lately with alan auyeung ... (sidenote, it's really SOOOOOOO encouraging to see how God's working in his life. we've been talking over aim about how we're growing spiritually, and we've been praying for and encouraging each other ... it's been quite a blessing ...) ... i can share with amsy ... i can share with michael yu (who i feel like i'm unofficially casually discipling / mentoring ... it's been cool hearing how he's getting plugged in at a church and fellowship in sd ... and how God has really answered prayers for him ... and it's been cool being able to ask how i can specifically pray for him, and even cooler when he asks how he can pray for me =] ) ... i can share with the people in my dorm-room Bible study last year (stephen, carise, jocelyn, tom, victor, tiff), i can share with my accountability partners - dave & henry, my aacf small group, and tons of other aacf brothers and sisters ... i feel that all these people care about my walk ... and i can honestly say that i care about their's, too. i don't really see/feel that too much at h2o ... at h2o i kinda just go there, hear the message ... then kinda make small talk until 10. ct nights are a little different because we get to share a little and see how each other are doing and what God's been teaching us. i mean, i know it's different 'cuz we have limited time at h2o as opposed to during school time ... but yeah ... dunno ... a lot of times i just long for ... i dunno. more, i guess. a lot of times i long for more than just shallow, surface fellowship ... i wanna get beyond the less important stuff like school and work ... and i wanna know how to be able to pray for my brothers and sisters ... (not that i don't wanna hear how school and work are going ...) i dunno ... i mean, i know people probably have relationships like that at h2o ... but i dunno ... i guess i just haven't really experienced that yet. i guess i need to keep praying and seek God's will in that area ... yeah, don't wanna sound like i'm ripping on h2o ... 'cuz it's really a good club ... and i know that God's using h2o to really help people grow ... i'm just pondering what role He wants me to have there ... =/ for now, i'm still commited to h2o, though ... and i'll keep going when school or prior commitments don't interfere ... perhaps God will change my attitude. =] tally ho -bj 
the math 54 final was very blah. =/ you can never tell about how you did on knutson's tests ... because the mean is so low ... everyone does poorly ... your grade depends on how you do compared to others ... the last midterm i thought i bombed ... got my score back and got a 55% ... which curved up to like an a-/b+ ... heh heh ... so i have absolutely no idea how i did on the final ... it was pretty hard ... but everyone said it was hard. so we'll see ... blah. zeeho came over ... we had guitar / piano duets ... heh heh ... it was kinda fun. =] we're both at about the same level guitar-wise ... i was kinda teaching her some keyboard stuff ... but she's not too bad at keyboard either ... then we played mario kart. heh heh. anyhoo ... relaxing time ... praise God, my hardest two finals are OVA! hooooooray! two more to go ... =] skunk, skunk. -bj
Friday, December 12, 2003
insanity. from ben. i think stephen may find this especially amusing ... errr ... just any old nintendo fans. =] SuperMario3 MegaMan sweetness ... apparently they use this emulator which allows you to save states ... for the mario one, i'm told that they reloaded ~40000 times ... the emulator allows you to load/reload while recording ... so it's meshed into one continuous video file. =] as mr. kenny wu would say ... sweetness. like a heater in the summer time ... i'm OFF! later, gators. -bj
Artist: John Mayer Song: 3x5 I'm writing you to catch you up on places I've been You held this letter probably got excited but there's nothing else inside it didn't have a camera by my side this time hopping I would see the world with both my eyes maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way with words Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche' And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky are next to mountains anyway Didn't have a camera by my side this time Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way but let me say You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes it brought me back to life You'll be with me next time I go outside just no more 3x5's Guess you had to be there Guess you had to be with me Today I finally overcame tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way but let me say You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes it brought me back to life You'll be with me next time I go outside no more 3x5's just no more 3x5's heh heh ... that was me yesterday. yesterday was so purrrrrrrrty ... for the most part. =] kim chan is so funny ... she left me a message saying that i'd ace my math final today. awwwwww ... so sweet. let's hope she's right. =] 3...2...1...GO! -bj
Thursday, December 11, 2003
my brain is fried. blah. oh well ... one final down, three to go. =] math 55 final was ... hmmm ... i'm not sure. it wasn't toooooooo bad ... but it could have been better. and it also could have been worse ... so ... eh. we'll see. =] math 54 final tomorrow ... more math studying for me ... blah. =/ at least it should be a little bit easier than my math 55 final ... hopefully ... joconut (8:27:24 PM): :-D look WHO'S TALKING!!! you're the one of the most FAT people i know heh heh ... gee thanks. =P (she meant the church kind of "fat.") and now i'm all alone again -bj
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
so ... i've been studying my brains out for this math 55 final ... i think my brain is gonna explode. ugh. don't remember the last time i've studied so hard ... and yet i don't really feel prepared. aiya. oh well ... still have more time to cram tonight before the final tomorrow. blah. guess it's all in God's hands ... =] you wanna dress in gold -bj
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
here's a tip for all of you: if your gsi isn't very great, then chances are the review session won't be very great, either. i went to my math 55 review session ... my gsi just gave us a worksheet ... and he said he might go over some of the answers when there are fifteen minutes left ... booooo ... he wasn't gonna lecture or anything ... so i just took the problem set home to work on ... plus there was this super annoying guy in the review session ... who kept saying "this is too hard ... this is too hard." bah. every five minutes. people were getting annoyed. luckily my gsi will put up the answers online so i can check to make sure i do them correctly. but still ... what a waste of a review session. =[ the outlook wasn't brilliant for the mudville nine that day -bj
Monday, December 08, 2003
boooooooooooooooooooooo. i kinda like spending the day studying for finals. it's relaxing in a weird sort of way. first i cleaned up my room ... for some reason, i can't study when things are messy ... i take that back. i study better when things are neat. anyhoo ... so now my area is very conducive to studying. =] i studyied on my desk for a little ... on my bed for a little ... on the floor for a little ... on the roof for a little ... it was kinda exciting changing venues. tomorrow i have a another whole day to study math! yippee skippy! hot like fire -bj
albert is such an uber math geek. =] from his profile: New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. haha ... the Al-Gebra network. i didn't get that for a long time. heh heh. so this is love -bj
Sunday, December 07, 2003
jason: Nah, we want to shoot you because... you'd be better encouraging people in Heaven. ;D hmmm ... thanks ... i guess. =P ... people want to shoot me, eh? haha. and time stands still -bj
We are a moment You are forever Lord of the ages God before time We are a vapor You are eternal Love everlasting reigning on high Holy holy Lord God Almighty Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain Highest praises honor and glory Be unto Your name Be unto Your name We are the broken You are the healer Jesus Redeemer mighty to save You are the love song we'll sing forever Bowing before You blessing Your name ("Be unto Your name", Gary Sadler) i like first pres. a lot. =] i learn so much ... and i like their worship teams and worship sets. =] i walked w/ jon wong freshman to first pres. we sat next to john tsang at first pres ... and i saw james dellinger, too ... =] then after church, john wong bought me chocolate milk at the gbc w/ his swipes. thanks, dude. =] behind closed eyes -bj
essay just about done. =] so it's official. almost all of aacf is sick. =P ... so many people have the flu. hope i don't catch it. i like hallmark.com's e-cards ... i sent out like four of 'em yesterday. that's always fun encouraging people w/ a card. =] gonna take one of my freshies w/ me to first pres today. alright kids, i'll talk to you later. magically delicious -bj
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